Three false ministers, including one who identifies as homosexual and another as polyamorous, recently told the Huffington Post that they believe that sex before marriage is “not sinful,” and that it is rather “unreasonable,” “outdated and silly” to expect people to stay chaste until marriage. One said that he doesn’t “judge” those who choose to engage in random hookups, even if he doesn’t do so himself.
The outlet interviewed Brandan Robertson, an open homosexual who leads Missiongathering Christian Church in San Diego; Chalice Overy, who is an associate pastor at Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina; and a man that was only identified as Michael, who says he is currently dating three women and a man, and serves as a clergyman in San Antonio, Texas.
The article, written by Brittany Wong, was entitled “We Asked Ministers What It’s Like To Date Today. Here’s What They Said.”
“I think the evangelical church world that I come from has taught some really unhealthy ideas about sex and sexuality, and I spend a lot of my time trying to deconstruct ‘purity culture’ in favor of a healthier, more holistic view of sexuality,” opined Robinson, who caused controversy in 2011 for his pro-homosexual views as a student at Moody Bible Institute, but went on to graduate with a Bachelor of Arts degree in pastoral ministry and theology.
“I believe for some people, waiting for marriage before having sex can be a very healthy path. I also believe that for most people, sex before marriage is a healthy expression of the gift of sexuality and is not ‘sinful’ or morally wrong,” he said.
Overy made similar remarks.
“I honestly think it’s unreasonable to expect people to wait until they are married to have sex if we expect people to make thoughtful decisions about who they marry,” she said, although noting that she personally prefers a man who “wants to get to know me, not just my body.”
“But if we are willing to do the spiritual and emotional work of intimacy, should we deny ourselves the joy of physical intimacy? I don’t think so,” Overy added.
Michael, who is divorced, outlined that his church is aware of his multiple relationships, and says that he has been engaged in polyamory since his youth.
“One of the worst things the Church has done is take God and the Divine out of the bedroom and shame people for their desires and practices,” he claimed. “I have always believed that contractual arrangements (including marriage) are not the boundary on sex—our own personal ethics are.”
“Most of the single clergy I know have sex, even when the rules of their denomination prohibit it,” Michael continued. “It simply is an outdated and silly expectation, in my opinion. Like anything else, sex can be manipulative, unhealthy or used as a power differential. Sex, or even dating without sex with a congregant is never okay because of the power differential. Within relationships of equals or with agreed-upon boundaries, though, it is healthy and beautiful.”
The three also stated that they have no issues with dating someone who is not a Christian, and would actually prefer so. Robertson said that he emphasizes the “normal-ness” of his life on dating apps, noting that he enjoys “craft beer, going clubbing [and] traveling.” Michael outlined that he mostly dates atheists and agnostics, stating that he desires those who “at the very minimum, question the historic faith.”
As previously reported, the Bible teaches against—apart from prohibitions on homosexuality, such as in Romans 1:26-27—premarital sex in numerous Scriptures, and strongly warns that those who engage in unrepentant fornication will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Ephesians 5:3-6 admonishes, “But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints, neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient, but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain words, for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.”
1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 likewise instructs, “Furthermore then, we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication, that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor—not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.”
“For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His Holy Spirit.”
Scripture also warns in 2 Timothy 4:3-4, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears. And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.”