Popular women’s author and speaker Jen Hatmaker revealed on her “For the Love” podcast on Friday that her daughter, Sydney, is lesbian, stating that she is “really proud of her” and that she wishes she could go back in time and “shake myself to life sooner” to become affirming theologically on the issue of homosexuality.
“On this incredibly meaningful, special bonus episode of ‘For the Love’, in honor of Pride Month, a mother and daughter come together to have a frank and beautiful conversation about what it’s like to grow up as the daughter of a popular Christian author and speaker and in a household steeped in the church — and realize you’re gay,” the podcast description reads.
During the broadcast, Sydney explained that she became “consciously aware of [her] sexuality” in the sixth or seventh grade and that she had “really intense friendships that were definitely crushes.”
She said that she was simultaneously a “Jesus freak,” and so she wondered around age 12 if she would go to Hell for being attracted to girls. Sydney recalled studying the Bible in private to learn for herself whether or not homosexuality is a sin and listening to different perspectives on the issue, one of which included her mother, who was at that time “loving but unaffirming.”
She began pondering how she would reveal her homosexuality to her family, afraid of doing so because she did not know of others in the Church who were affirming of same-sex relationships. She worried that she could not be able to have God and family and be lesbian at the same time, and she wanted all three.
Hatmaker, becoming tearful during the broadcast, told her daughter that it is one of her “greatest regrets and sorrows” that she did not affirm homosexuality sooner.
“When I think of you struggling through that by yourself, I could just sob,” she said, remarking again later, “I am so sorry and I am so sad. If I could go back, I would change it. I would shake myself to life before you were even born; shake some sense into me.”
Hatmaker also told Sydney at the end of the episode, “[W]e are so proud of who you are. I would not change one molecule of you, not one. I’m so glad you’re gay. I’m so proud that you are free. I love that that this is how you are made. I’m thrilled about your future. I’ve already told you the kind the wife I need you to marry and I hope you follow my rules.”
When asked what she wishes pastors and churches knew, Sydney said that the faith of youth lies in their hands and what they say matters. She mentioned a pastor who came to the conclusion that homosexuality was a sin, and that it “destroyed” her and made her feel like God didn’t love her, sending her into a “panic attack.”
“We hear you. We’re reading what you’re writing. We’re in your pews. We might be your kids. And that’s what happens. It’s so real,” Sydney said.
Her mother agreed, claiming that it is “irresponsible” for pastors to “break [the] hearts” of youth who have homosexual feelings.
“It is not enough, Christians, to say, ‘Well, we love you anyway.’ I don’t want to be loved anyway,” stated Hatmaker, who came out in support of homosexuality in 2016. She opined that “organized religion” is an “unsafe place” for homosexuals and that allies are needed in religious communities.
Hatmaker is known for books such as “For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards”, “Fierce, Free and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You”, “Of Mess and Moxie: Wrangling Delight Out of This Wild and Glorious Life”, “Interrupted: When Jesus Wrecks Your Comfortable Christianity” and “Spin Cycle: Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load”.
As previously reported, while a common argument among those who struggle with homosexual feelings is that they were “born this way,” the Bible teaches that all are born with the Adamic sin nature (Romans 5:19), having various inherent feelings and inclinations that are contrary to the law of God and being utterly incapable of changing by themselves (Job 14:4).
All men, therefore, face the same predicament, being natural lawbreakers and guilty in the sight of God (Romans 3:19), evoking His wrath.
“[W]e all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others,” Ephesians 2:3 outlines.
“All we like sheep have gone astray. We have turned every one to his own way,” Isaiah 53:6 reads, “and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.”
It is why Jesus came: to do what men could not do for themselves, to “save His people from their sins” (Matthew 1:21).
Scripture outlines that Jesus came to be the propitiation for men’s sins (1 John 2:2; 1 John 4:10), a doctrine in Christianity known as substitutionary atonement, and to save men from the wrath of God for their violations against His law (Romans 4:25, Romans 5:9, Romans 5:16), a doctrine known as justification.
Acts 2:38-40 exhorts, “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.”
The Bible also teaches about regeneration, as in addition to sparing guilty men from eternal punishment, Christ sent his Holy Spirit to make those who would repent and believe new creatures in the here and now, with new desires and an ability to do what is pleasing in the sight of God by His indwelling and empowerment (Ezekiel 11:19, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Titus 3:5).
Jesus said that men must be born again — a work of the Spirit transforming their very nature from being in Adam to being in Christ, or they cannot see the Kingdom of God (John 3:3-8).
“Jesus answered and said unto him, ‘Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.’ Nicodemus saith unto him, ‘How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb and be born?’ Jesus answered, ‘Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, ye must be born again.'”